Emotionally Bitter

Love. What can I say? When you're in it, it's heavenly bliss. But it's also one of the things that can hurt you the most. Likewise with the person who holds it. Isn't it odd that way? The people we care about the very most in the world have the power to hurt us like no other. It's unfair really. But then again, what is love without a little risk? If you're not willing to lose it all, then you can't have it all in the first place.

I'm apprehensive with my heart now-a-days. I'm in a long-distance relationship. My boyfriend lives 3 hours away in my hometown, and I miss him terribly. But every time I get bitter about the distance, I remind myself what happened last time. I think distance is good for me, because I get bored with guys really easily, and I think not being around him all the time will keep me on my toes. Tim "accidentally" dropped the L-bomb before I left. I pretended not to hear it, since he kinda mumbled it anyway, but then he brought it up, through text message nonetheless. I told him I didn't like talking about such serious things through text, and he agreed it'd have to wait til we saw each other next. He said he "didn't mean to say it. It just slipped out."

It's not that I'm against falling in love again, or even that I don't love him, it's just way too soon. And no, I don't love him right now, but that's not saying that I won't. I just haven't reached that place, and I'm not emotionally comfortable with it quite yet. I might also be more cautious with matters of the heart than I used to be. I'm not really looking to get my heart broken again, and I'll do pretty much anything to avoid slipping back into depression. And if that means taking it super slow with Tim, then that's what I'll do, damn it.