Get Over It

Have you ever loved a guy who doesn't love you back, and what you want most in the world is to just stop loving him? Because it hurts too much. Because you know it'll never be the way it used to be. Because he changed and isn't the same guy anymore. So that makes it worse, because you're in love with someone who doesn't even exist anymore. I'm kinda there right now, actually I have been for about 3 years. I've been trying to get over Jon since the day he kissed her, and it was literally impossible for a really long time. I fell into depression. I lost all motivation and drive for everything. But then I moved about 3 hours north, and it helped tremendously. Not seeing him all the time has helped more than anything. And also the fact that he's not the kid I used to love. He's turned into kind of a dick. I'm seriously beginning to get over him. I just needed time. That and distance. It's not nearly as bad as it used to be. Every time I go back, though, and see him, it's like I take a step back. I know we've both changed and it'd never work out and in my head I know that logically he isn't what I want, but then my heart will rear its ugly head and try to tell me different.

"The furthest distance I've ever known is from my head to my heart." That's a lyric from a song, which one I cannot recall at the moment. But I'd say it's more than accurate. I just have to stay strong, pay attention to my head and ignore my heart. That seems like it should be the opposite of what I should do, but it's really the only way. I'm ready to fall for someone else, but I can't do that until I have myself stabilized first. So that's what I'm going to do. Swear off guys until I'm completely mine again, and then protect myself with more valor than I might have in the past.